8.22.2007
Two Events, Unrelated?
© 2007 Stan Spire
Karl Rove, longtime political advisor to the president, is leaving the White House to spend more time with his family. And the president’s daughter, Jenna, is getting married.
Karl Rove. How can I sum up such a great humanitarian in a few words? Let’s see, there’s push polling. South Carolina, 2000. George Bush and John McCain are out to win the favor of voters, each trying to be the Republican Party’s presidential candidate.
Someone masquerading as a pollster calls a voter, asking if his opinion of McCain would change if they knew he had fathered an illegitimate daughter with a black prostitute?
Of course, the “pollster” didn’t claim that McCain had committed a two shocking transgressions against Deep South conservative Christian racists. The caller just posed a question to gauge a reaction. There’s nothing against the law against bringing up a “what if” situation.
And how can a “pollster” be responsible for any confusion that might arise from the fact that John McCain and his wife had an adopted daughter from Bangladesh? After all, Rovian politics helps to keep voters on their toes, motivating them to check out the facts. Most voters use their minds, not their hearts, when choosing the right candidates.
And with Rovian discourse, anyone can become involved in the great cause, even someone’s innocent daughter.
So would your opinion of Karl Rove change if you learned he had impregnated Jenna Bush, forcing her to get married to someone her age to cover up the scandal?
8.06.2007
A Brain Enhanced By Conservatism And OxyContin
Rush Limbaugh. He’s more than a political radio commentator: he’s a true historian.
In a promo for his show, Rush really hits it on the head about modern events. He states that the Soviet Union fell apart because it gave up when the United States decided to press ahead with the Strategic Defense Initiative (SDI), also known as “Star Wars.” The Soviets knew that we had the know-how and can-do attitude to make a missile defense shield work. All they could do was admit defeat.
Of course, the fact that the Soviet Union was corrupt, inefficient, and overextended are minor reasons why it failed.
America has a perfect record when it comes to creating and utilizing superior technology. After all, our advanced weaponry during the Vietnam War quickly won us peace with honor – just like it will in Iraq.
And consider our space agency, NASA, for a sterling example of how to properly design and build technology. One shuttle blew up while going up; another burned up while coming down.
Look at other triumphs. Like the Mars probe that crashed into the Red Planet because someone forgot to properly convert between kilometers and miles. Or the solar space probe that crashed into the desert because its parachute didn’t deploy. The parachute switch had been installed upside down.
And don’t forget the most important component in any system: the human operator. It was reported recently that some astronauts have been flying drunk, obviously to keep their reflexes optimal.
Imagine our government and its crack administrators and operators protecting us with a nationwide missile defense shield. Maybe a drunken ex-astronaut would be put in charge of the program.
Imagine SDI activated during a crisis.
BOOM.
The U.S. empire falls apart in seconds. After blowing itself to pieces.
Rush Limbaugh crawls out of the rumble, grabs a microphone, and starts blaming the liberals for the disaster. He knows the real story.
© Copyright 2007 Stan Spire
