11.09.2005
News With A Plastic Smile
They grin with bright white teeth, wear nice clothes, claim they care about you. They want to be friends with you -- even though it isn’t their job.
Their job is supposed to be report the news in a fair and accurate manner.
The typical TeeVee newscaster probably doesn’t give a rat’s ass about you as a person, but as a number, another digit in the ratings game. Plattsburgh’s TeeVee station is affiliated with the NBC network. The local anchors appear with NBC’s latest meat puppet star, Brian Williams, in a promo aired ad nauseam. This promo seems to appear every ten minutes, 24/7. The two locals sit in a studio with Williams, gushing on about how their regional newscast shares the same goals of NBC news: helping others, providing a valuable service to the community.
Of course, that valuable service is sandwiched between ads by car dealers so desperate to make a sale that they’ll run annoying “humorous” spots devoid of an iota of humor or even get their naïve kids on the screen to shill for them.
Sticking to the script, the local anchors -- He & She, the standard duo -- tell Williams how they care about the community because they live in the community. Left unspoken is the fact that if a better job offer comes along, He or She would leave this Godforsaken tundra outpost in a second.
Alternating with the promo featuring He & She and NBC’s Number One teleprompter reader is an aggravating spot featuring Brian Williams standing on a beach, probably after the Asian tsunami, going on about no shelter, no food, no water, how the poor victims are suffering. Of course, after that show of humanity, Williams flew back home first class and had a nice meal at a tony five-star Manhattan restaurant while those victims were still stuck on the beach, no shelter, no food, no Perrier sparkling water.
When Brain Williams comes on, the channel changes or the TeeVee is snapped off. So much for pseudo-friend overpromotion.
And as for the local anchors, they carry on night after night with their extended family, the grinning, somewhat goofy sportscaster and the grinning, somewhat goofy weatherman. All part of what killed local TeeVee reporting: the “Happy News” format.
But don’t believe what you see on the screen. A cathode ray tube illusion ain’t reality. Remember that when you meet one of these newsreaders out in public and say hello, politely holding a door open while commenting on how you enjoy her work.
Don’t be surprised if that plastic TeeVee personality barely acknowledges your existence, you couch potato peon.
# posted by Stan Spire @ 8:19 AM 
