Anti-Press Express

Letter writhing?

Don’t look at me. That term was used in a recent letter to the editor of the local (news)paper. The paper had published an opinion piece by a college professor, an essay that compelled a reader to respond.

The outraged reader challenged the left-wing views set forth by the college professor. He compared liberal professors to bovines stricken with mad cow disease, claiming that such professors all suffered from a brain infection that incapacitated rational thought.

In the opening paragraph the reader said he would try to be gentle, but “sometimes the letter writhing [sic] version of rough sex is the only thing that gets the juices flowing.”

(At least this reader isn’t homophobic. After all, he wants to engage in the expository equivalent of “rough sex” with another man, in this case, the college professor.)

With his cup running over with conservative juices, the reader said liberal college professors shouldn’t teach their opinions as facts to inexperienced youths. After all, young students might believe the professor knew the difference between “something and Shineola.”

Wrapping up his attack by piling on more “something,” the reader summed up by stating:

“As for the wimp-wristed peacenik nonsense: The graveyard is the only place on Earth where actual peace can be found; life is a dynamic struggle, not a placid nap. Professor, if you want America to be destroyed, then be a ‘peace activist,’ but if you want to survive, be a man.”

It takes a real man to writhe a letter like that.