12.09.2006
Headitorial: Don’t Kiss Your Balls Goodbye
Recently a local business had Xmas ornaments stolen from its façade, including kissing balls. We at Anti-Press are shocked that such a despicable act can occur during this holiday season of Peace On Earth, Good Will Towards All Men.
At the same time businesses have to stay on the ball and make sure that their decorations aren’t too tempting for the Screwges lurking in the long winter night. Apparently kissing balls are the rage this year and extra steps must be taken.
Make sure your balls are firmly attached. Sagging balls can be tempting, so keep them out of reach. Keep an eye on your balls, especially with osculating strangers. When not in use, keep your balls in a loose sack, safely stored at room temp.
And most importantly: during this holiday season, never engage in juvenile humor.
# posted by Stan Spire @ 1:35 PM 
