4.29.2007
Granddad Spire
I inherited my rant gene from him.
About once a week I visit Granddad Spire. He's more or less confined to his small one-story house set back from the street. When I arrive he says he's glad to see his favorite grandson. I don't point out that I'm his only grandson.
Sometimes Granddad Spire is alert, sharp as a tack. On other occasions, he's a bit fuzzy, due to his age and his long list of meds.
He's happy when I read the newspaper to him. He claims his eyesight is shot but I know his vision is OK; me reading the paper is a way of generating topics for conversation.
I start with the obits. Lately Granddad Spire has fallen into a routine of knowing all of the recently deceased, but not in a good light. I mention the name of a woman who recently "passed on into the arms of the Lord."
Granddad Spire snorts. "Her? Biggest whore around. Used to hang around the bars all her life, take home three or four men at a time. She slowed down to two men when he got old and had to use a walker."
I don't tell him that he's confused. I skip to another name, not mentioning that the woman in question spent most of her life as a nun.
For Granddad Spire local and world events blend in together. When I read a news item datelined Washington, DC, he reacts as if the event had taken place right at home. Part of the confusion is that he jumbles up similar-sounding surnames from his neck of the woods with national leaders.
I read a story about President Bush. Granddad Spire was dozing off but suddenly he snaps awake.
"Bushey? They made one of them company president at the mill? I tell you I never met a Bushey who wasn't dumber than a box of rocks."
Then there's an article about the vice-president, Dick Cheney.
"Haney? Rick Haney. There's a lying sonofabitch. Talked out of the side of his mouth. He could sell bullshit to a cow. He talked tough, sounded like he was ready for a fight, but he was a yellow skunk. Used to hide in his basement when trouble came a'calling."
When he makes a statement like that, I suspect Granddad Spire is faking his confusion. Maybe he likes pulling my leg.
But I remember the time he reminisced about his childhood, way back when it was OK to belong to the communist party. The local communists would even hold a parade in his neighborhood on May Day. Then the demonization started, the years of McCarthyism. Granddad Spire doesn't say too much about those dark days.
So if Homeland Security shows up at his door, he can say, "You mean Bushey and Haney, right? I went to high school with those bastards..."
(C) Copyright 2007 Stan Spire
# posted by Stan Spire @ 8:09 AM 
